Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Margaret's Gift

Margaret and I met when I was pregnant with my oldest child, who I can't believe will be 8 this march, and we became instant friends...she was older than be by 14 years, but I never really hung out with people in my own age group. I was dating my son's walking sperm bank at the time and she was dating a man who worked with walking sperm bank...
As time went on and after the "men" were no longer in our lives (a very dramatic, long and very bitter ending to both of those relationships) our friendship still held strong. We made stupid mistakes together and we both saw each other through some hard times in our lives. I moved away, all the way to anther state, and tried to visit when I could...I got married, and had my second child. She finally found love and happiness and she soon moved to Louisianna. She had 2 children, both boys from her 1st marriage (long before we met) and one was off to college when she moved away and then I moved back to Florida. Even in the midst of our own lives we managed to stay in touch as much as possible. The last time I saw her was in 2007 when I took a friend with me to her house shortly before she moved, it was later that year when the 2 of us lost touch. With a mixture of the moves and numbers being changed and such we didnt speak at all for about 2 years....
About 4 or so months ago, I managed to find her son via (believe it or not) Myspace and was able to reconnect with Margaret who I discovered had also been trying to find me. We spent hours filling each other in on the last 2 years of our lives when she told me of her having to have gone in for emergency brain and spinal surgery only 2 months prior to our conversation due to complications caused by her having Spinal Menengitis when she was 19. She told me that overall she was recovering well and still sounded like the full of life Margaret I had always known. She was getting ready to go for one more surgery, on her neck this time, to correct an issue from the previous surgery but she sounded very possitive about how it would go and was suppose to call me and let me know how everything went. It was mentioned that after her final recovery I would make the drive over to see her...
After 2 or so weeks, I was sitting on my couch when my cell began to ring. I saw the name on the caller id..."Margaret", it said as my face lit up and my smile widened. I picked up the phone, "Hey girl!!!" I said with enthusiasm but after a small silence the voice I heard on the other end was not that of my dear friend. "Lisa?" spoke a deeper, more solomn voice, one I immediately recognized to be Jesse, Margaret's husband and my face went white as I knew something had to be wrong. I could barely speak to ask him what was wrong as he began telling me how when she came home from surgery she progressivly got weaker. They took her back to the hospital and then he told me what my heart already felt to be true, within days of returning to the hospital she had passed away....
I have experienced death before in my life but up until now I have never experienced the death of such a close friend, and in that moment I took it pretty hard. I'm not even sure that I have totally dealt with it at all, sometimes it still doesnt feel real ya know? She was only 40 years old and left behind a family who loved her very much. She never even got to see her youngest graduate high school and she was just beginning to really live her life...how do you just accept that and move on from it?
In her passing, my dear friend did leave me with an amazing gift....she reminded me that life is far too short, and that tomorrow is never a guarantee. She taught me to appreciate the little things more and to never take one day for granted. I often catch myself wondering if she is watching and hoping she knows how much she will always be missed.......

2 comments:

  1. You know how sorry I am for your loss. I know how hard it is to loose a friend, a close friend. I lost one when she was just 18, she hadn't even lived her life to the fullest yet and she was gone. Our lives have been intertwined for about 2 (maybe 3?) years now (Geez, it seems like more than that!) and I feel your pain. I Love You Lisa and am always here for you!

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  2. P.S. This was a beautiful post to memoralize your friend.

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