ok, so now i have blogged twice today...that will make up for the times i dont:)
But something happened today that has my mind absolutely racing!!! On myspace, of all places, I managed to find a woman I once knew named Gerri......who is the mother of my son's older brother and sister on his biological father's side...or shall I just call him, like always....the walking sperm bank. This man has not been a part of my son's life since he was 6mos old. My daughter's biological father became "dad" to my son. he is the only dad my son has ever had....even as much as that man ("DAD") gets under my skin, I still have to give him that....he stepped up to the plate.....so anyway, back on topic, I searched for Gerri via myspace (not honestly thinking i'd find her) because of Brian and Jessica (my sons biological big brother and sister). Those kids were amazing...I became very close to them in the time we had together, and I dont think it is fair to keep john in the dark about having more family....I mean, sooner or later he will ask why he is mixed and mommy and daddy are both white.....but that begs the question...how in the world do i explain this to my 7 year old son?????.....I think i remember trying to explain it when he was younger but at that age I dont think he could really grasp the concept. and how do I do it without making "dad" feel hurt or territorial? I dont want to hurt anyone's feelings but I think that my son deserves to know the truth...to know he has a half brother and half sister out there.....they all called him baby john....and they loved him. Its not their fault that walking sperm bank is useless. One day, I do hope he will be able to be a part of brian and jessica's life....I just have to figure out how to explain it to my son and figure out when would be the right time....until then, i guess i will remain perplexed as I find the answers to the questions that i seek....hmmmm....life is everchanging.